I ran into John Goodman in the neighborhood today and called his dogs obnoxious to his face while he was wearing pajamas and standing barefoot in front of his house. He had no choice but to laugh which made me laugh because, let’s be honest, what’s better than a John Goodman laugh?
Sometimes when you’re not giving her enough attention she’ll throw herself on the floor like a big slut (Taken with Instagram)
Allie, going on a walk is basically like Olivia’s facebook. Every time she marks her territory she’s updating her status.
—my mom explaining why it’s so important to let Olivia stop and sniff every step of our walk
- Me: Should I make you a facebook page again?
- Dad: No.
- Me: Why?
- Dad: Because I don't like that.
- Me: Like what?
- Dad: All those people asking to be my friend. The only people I want to know what they're doing are my kids. Those other people? I don't care what the hell they're doing. People were trying to be my friend every day! Can you believe that? That is just shit.
- : ::Silence:::
- Dad: Why did all those people want to be my friend? I don't care what they're doing.
- Me: Okay.